WHATEVER TURNS YOU ON! A Guide to Fetishes in MSpaint

[Jewdozer]

WHATEVER TURNS YOU ON! A LOLOKAUST GUIDE TO FETISHES

WELCOME TO THE 4TH ELECTRIC RETARD GUIDE TO FETISHES!
If after reading our previous three guides, you have not found that special someone, then fuck off you shit bastard, you are a sexual spastic and should die in a fire.

For those that have got themselves some regular fuck, please read on because heaven awaits ladies and gentlemen, come discover the secrets of the pleasure that makes one scream.

How does a person get a thrill out of sex when they have had a regular fuck available for some time? The answer? He tries something daring, something new, something depraved. These are called fetishes and they can get as weird as you like.
What we are going to do is reveal some hand picked thrills using the most powerful program known to man……..MICROSOFT PAINT!!

FETISHES: LOOKING FOR EXCITEMENT IN SEXUAL CONQUEST

PT1: SELF HARMING

We can divide these degrading acts into a few subcategories. The first one we are looking at is the idea of harming oneself to get a sexual kick. This is good because often you don’t know how far this can go, I mean you could end up dead!




Sometimes the rush of pain through the most sensitive part of your body is the thrill. You don’t have to cut your dick off to do this, you can get the same effect by simply causing irreversible damage to your equipment instead.




The kick doesn’t always come from deliberately harming your physical self, it can come from exposing yourself to potential danger. Imagine driving an open top car in first gear, naked under a clan suit, down the centre of Harlem and shouting fuck all niggers, playing country and western with your doors wide open! Looking for a thrill from danger? You found it asshole!




PT2 SEXUAL VIOLENCE

I must be honest, this is my personal favourite. If you want a boost to your ego, there’s nothing better than having your partner pleading for you not to stab their eyes out with a coat hanger as you ass fuck them with a knife. This practice has been around forever, its human nature, its normal.




Violent acts don’t need to be one on one in the privacy of your own cellar, they can be public. Sometimes we just want to go on a killing spree just for the lol factor and the sexual thrill. Usually the innocent are the most exciting targets. Mothers and babies, the old and if you are lucky, the disabled are perfect targets because there is less reason to do it. Just seeing someone’s face explode across your windshield is one of the most sexually exciting things I’ve ever seen whilst masturbating.



Another way to do it is in gangs. This way is much safer because you can overpower your target much easier. Another good thing about this, is you can take it in turns like you do a children’s board game which means the fun is shared, the difference being there’s no losers.





Face it……it’s a dark world and there’s no point in fighting the fact we all have these urges. Some of the world’s most notorious sex attackers came from very normal backgrounds just to be locked up for exercising their right to use their genitals in the way they see fit. The way to do it is to maybe get a job where the innocent will come to you for help rather than having to hunt them.

[Jewdozer]

PT3 SEXYTIME, NICE AND EASY DOES IT

Sometimes picking a suitable fetish is like simple sex. You don’t have to rip them apart to enjoy it, these practices can be nearly as much fun if you take your time and enjoy it. Just having straight sex in a public place can be thrilling. The idea is usually to find somewhere private and maybe you won’t get caught. We recommend going totally public and exposing yourselves where there’s a large volume of people. A school, a park or strapped to a crucifix at the front of a church service are some options.




If privacy is what you’re after, fair enough, you can lock the world away and enjoy each other in private. Props such as role playing or maybe eating food off each other could be an option, your imagination is really the limit you put on this.




Sometimes bringing in other partners is great fun, especially if you want to catch some fun diseases or just good old fashioned genital lice. There should be trust between you so everyone knows how far to go. ‘Safe’ words are often used to make sure nobody goes too far but generally when we hear these, its time to move the action up a gear and cause some real damage.




One thing you can’t beat is an experienced partner. As you get older you just know what buttons to press. If a person can fuck well at 25 then just imagine the experience someone must have at eighty or ninety years old! Don’t expect them to be ready to give up their goods too easily. If they play hard to get, using a bit of rough and tumble will quickly put down any resistance and give access to an exciting experience.




PT4: YOU FUCKED UP BASTARD

Most fetishes can be categorized but some are just without any sense or reason at all.
I remember a kid in my school class who always smelt of shit. We found out later he got a sexual thrill out of not wiping his arse. Smearing shit or vomit on your bell end or eyes I can understand, but doing that……..I ask you.




The problem with humans is you can always guess what they will do next. Some creatures are less predictable such as lions…..erm…. well, they will probably fucking eat you than fuck you but less dangerous creatures can be enjoyed safely.




Different animals give different sensations. Dragging a dead cat over your clit will feel much different to say, pouring a bag of cockroaches down your anus. The best thing to do is experiment, try a few different things out. Talk to your friends and family about your adventures and share your experiences.




Sometimes there are conventions that bring people together who have certain ‘leanings’. Those sad bastards meet and it makes them feel more normal when they are in a pack. Trust me, if you get off on dead dogs, we don’t give a fuck how many of you there are at your fucked up annual dead dog convention, you are still fucked up and we hate you.




What does become boring for someone like myself (who is extremely good looking), is constantly looking down at the girl underneath me and seeing the hottest piece of meat ever create, the fact she has been dead for 2 weeks is beside the point. Constantly getting laid with all the best looking partners does get boring, so why not try out a game. When we hit the town at night we sometime play the ‘see who can pull the ugliest girl’ game. The idea is to see who can pull the nastiest pig in a wig, get off with her and laugh in her face as you tell her she was a dare from your mates, loolooolooolollool.




At times the living, breathing things just don’t cut it. I was looking in an art gallery a while ago where I was looking at nudes. The excitement in my pants as the tour guide explained the paintings was incredible. What I wasn’t ready for was the statues. The form of the perfectly smooth breasts and cunt of the lady on the couch made me want to rip my clothes off there and then and somehow fuck it.

[Jewdozer]

Personally I can really enjoy a good hand fuck to looking at some great sexual art. Most web comics are dog shit but there are 1 or 2 that rock my cock. Drawing your own stuff can be a real sexual thrill. I generally do all my art sat naked with one hand on my tablet pen and a finger in my anus. The idea of taking a well known characters and defiling them is damn sexy.




Sometimes you get desperate, it’s a horrible feeling when you feel you have tried every depraved practice your imagination limits you to. Your imagination and balls is exactly the problem here. Let go of your inhibitions and push the boundary of bad taste. Public toilets are a fantastic source of pleasure in terms of partners and the props and toys you can find to play with.





PT5 DOMINATION! I AM POWERFUL!

Sex is conquest, its ego and pwnage. To feel powerful it’s important to degrade your partner and make it clear that you are the best fuck on the planet and they are lucky to be ‘having it off’ with you. This can also be a masturbation fetish. Just seeing the misery on peoples faces can be a kick.




Sometimes just knowing that someone has very little time left and will die of ass cancer can be a thrill. If this is your thing then try and get a job in a hospital where terminal illness is a fun and just hand fuck yourself off to all the death and misery that surrounds you.




Imprisonment of a partner and making them do degrading acts can be cumtastic. Security is the main concern for you here. Cut out all links to the outside world and lock the doors, bolt the windows and shutters. Now you have a slab of meat you can do anything with. You can beat them, use them as a toilet or do some fun role-playing. This is domination to the extreme.




Shoplifters often admit that they do it for the thrill. Why not do it naked? Why not kill the shopkeeper, rape them and smear chocolate around your nipples as you do it? Fetishes are often normal things we do but given a sexual leaning, they become a fetish so think about your daily routine and make that your fetish.



IN CONCLUSION

Nobody has the right to tell you what’s decent and what’s not. If murder, rape (I hate that word) or sadism is your thing, then good for you, don’t hold back but push the boundaries and limits of your sexual adventures past where your normal imagination would normally take you. Better still, go so far that you either kill yourself or get your story in the media so we can have a good lol about you. Check these fucked up assholes out http://chatterbyrondavis.blogspot.co...h-too-far.html

This might be our final instalment in our sexual guide series. We hope you have enjoyed the guides and have found our professional advice useful. Together we can draw on each others experiences and go to places unexplored. For those who hate what we do, well, you can suck my fucking cock as I kill your families, FUCK OFF AND GO TO HELL! There’s one thing for sure, we’ll be there waiting for you!




Credits to the following members of the Lolokaust community

Ajaa – art, special frames, project consultant
Belsenfelchmeister – art
Dinosaurus – art
Don’t hassle the hoff - promotion
Eric - inspiration
Happyman - art
Hunter – art
Jewdozer – art, special frame, text, layout, project director
Pen – art
Piestar – art
Prettynerdy - project consultant
Sadman – art
UTF-88 – project consultant
And a special thanks to the Lolokaust angels…….you know who you are.

[Lizard King]

That was a fucking masterpiece. Some really great art in there, I almost wet myself with glee. I salute you, and all who helped with it.

[Calgacus]

Classic.

[Gullveig]

great stuff and well done on it!

[Jewdozer]

Here's the frames that didn't make it through 1 reason or another.













These guides are made from sweat, battles, fallouts and many late sleepless nights.

[Snoogins]

AWESOME BEYOND MEASURE

Damn good work there boyos.

[foofur]

wonderful work but irl that dog would've bitten that guys leg off

great thread!

[Peterpigman]

[ashleydemaris]

Lol! That was cumtastic, I'm still wiggling with joy. I submit my ass to your sick genius!

[Jewdozer]

Ok, this is our last one. Big thanks the Nicole for dealing with us and PPM for giving us the exposure on these. Really appreciate the reaction we get on here.

HEIL THE UNCOVER REALITY FORUMS!

[RORER-714]

[aRyan]

Great guide Jewdozer!

[lewjehacker]

Lmaooooo!!!!!!!!!!